Competition?

I didn't realize that adoption was a race or competition. Let me back up and give you all the background. Oksana was brought to the US for a winter hosting program. Fine right? Normally, yes. The group that brought her here though was an unethical, treacherous group called Adopt a Miracle. They photo list children, which is illegal according to Ukrainian law. They often promise host families that they can guarentee the adoption of their host child, require them to sign a contract and a hefty up front deposit. I have heard two different stories - one is that the host mom did not want to pursue the adoption of Oksana. Great - good for us. The other story, which admittidly is cominng from AAM, is that the host mom IS trying to adopt Oksana....I also have one or two people (not host mom herself) saying that Oksana wants to be adopted by host mom....This is what I tell myself over and over so that I don't go mad:1. Host mom is reportedly an unmarried woman - Ukraine will put her dossier at the bottom of the stack when considering who will adopt a child. So, this gives Andrew and I am advantage.2. We have had ongoing and continuous contact with Oksana for over a year. This woman only spent 3 weeks hosting Oksana. Sure she had more "face" time with Oksana, but we have had more contact with Oksana and provided her more support in the long term. 3. AAM has admitted that the majority of their families DO NOT end up adopting the child they hosted - they are happy with the kid they adopt, but it is usually not the host kid. 4. AAM is notorious for having their adoptions fall through all together. They are a dishonest agency. With the reform of the Department of Adoptions in Ukraine, I doubt that any "connections" they had under the old, corrupt regime will no longer be there. They are also famous for lying to their clients, messing up paperwork etc. We have a good social worker and facilitator - this is an advantage for us.5. As far as I know, we have far more charity hours logged and many more "contacts" in Ukraine than host mom does. This will probably benefit us.Even with all this in our favor, I still am freaked out. I CAN NOT lose my daughter!!!! I think what is making this worse is that since the DA is not yet open, we can't have our facilitator (and our other contacts) check on Oksana's file, nor can they speak to the DA on our behalf and plead our case. I am sure once it opens and we have our represenatives talk to them, it will be a done deal in our favor. But it is still an unknown at this point, and could go horribly wrong. It just REALLY SUCKS that with 100,000 kids in orphanages there, this woman has to try and "compete" with us for one child!!! Pick someone else damnit!!! This one is ours!! One woman is saying she visited Oksana in April and Oksana asked about host mom and said she was waiting for host mom to adopt her....Oksana is 6, almost 7....she could very well be confused and be thinking of me, her sponsor Mom. Sponsor...host....very similar. Plus, we are both from America. Olesya at BFC says that Oksana asks about me by name every single time they visit Pryluky. Oksana always runs right up to Lesya as soon as she is in the door to ask about me. I asked Oksana about her hosting trip in January...she said she didn't like the lady she visited and she wanted ME to adopt her, not that lady. WTF am I supposed to believe?!?!On top of all this stress, there is still the fact that Americans have restrictions on them for adoptions there - Oksana does not meet the criteria of the restrictions - this rule has been bent in many cases, but who knows what the new DA will do. Will they remove the restrictions all together, will they amend them? Also, Oksana's orphanage director is now saying she isn't registered for adoption at all - in fact her mother still has parental rights to her. Oksana has two siblings that live with mom....I can believe that a mom and siblings exist, but what I can't believe is that she would have given up and abandoned Oksana and not had her rights terminated. Oksana has been in the orphanage system for a long time. Plenty of time to get her registered. I just want to scream!