Worrying news

Three weeks and counting until we leave for our trip and we receive a letter in the mail yesterday from the SDA saying that two of our girls are not "on the database for foriegners to adopt" - Belle and SnowWhite. Well, Snowwhite we knew about, but we wanted official confirmation. Belle we were surprised about. The SDA confirmed that Cinderella is available and ready to go, but her full blooded sister is not.

My husband is freaked out. He is interpreting the "unofficial English translation" included differently than I am. Maybe I'm just more used to reading between the lines of Ukrainian documents? I see the statement as saying that the girls are just not available to foriegners (ie they are still in their one year "waiting" period), but my husband sees it as "they are not registered at all." Either situation is possible, but since the letter specifically mentioned "available to foriengers" I am thinking that they ARE available to Ukrainians, thus in their one year wait period...

The mothers rights were terminated sometime before 2002, actively, by the father during a divorce proceeding. But, Belle was in Russia with bio mom when this was ruled on. Sometime in 2002, bio dad had Cinderella taken away from him. She was placed in a shelter in December 2002, and registered for adoption in January 2003. She was available to foriegners in January 2004.

What I think happened to Belle is this: Belle's mom's rights were terminated, but dad's weren't since she wasnt physically living with him when Cinderella was taken away. Dad still had rights. Meanwhile, in Russia, mom had kids taken away by Russian government (Belle and her new half brother). Belle was put in a Russian orphanage, and baby half brother gets adopted to America. Eventually (year unknown??) Belle was transfered back to Ukraine. Dad died in November 2005, thus leaving Belle with no parents, and she was registered at that point (probably 2-3 months after dad's death). So.....no she would not have been available in January 2007, but she should be available by now if she was registered on the national database in early 2006.

Please pray that this is the case!

We have our "friends" in Ukraine looking into this situation, trying to get updated info from the SDA (since this letter was 6 months old) and info from the orphanage director about Belle's paperwork.

Got our appointment letter copy

Finally got a scanned copy of our appointment letter! Not that we were really worried (yeah right!), but it's nice to SEE the appointment date and our registration number. Our registration number is in the late 500's and it was assigned on March 28, 2007 according to the letter. Reading the English translation of the appointment letter is funny though - it was obviousely translated by someone at the SDA who is not fully fluent in English and so parts of it are confusing.

It does say that we should call and confirm our "arrival" but I am not sure if this means they want us to call them when we actually arrive in Ukraine or if they want us to confirm that this appointment date is acceptable to us before we travel....

The part of even more debate in the Ukrainian Adoption community is the final paragraph of the letter concerning the ages of available children...here is a word for word reprint of this paragraph from OUR letter:

"At the same time we are writting to inform you that considerable part of children available for adoption are older than 5-6 years and have some problems with health. The overwhelming majority of them have siblings and their seperation from each other is not allowed. We request you take into consideration these facts when planning the visit to Ukraine."

Finally, the letter is signed by the deputy director of the SDA, who I assume was the acting director at the time - Mr. Grytsenko.

Doctors Appointments- check

So, I have the girls many doctors appointments set up for when we get back. Many of the adoption medicine doctors book up a year in advance, so I figured I'd go ahead and get all the appointments on the books before we leave. Thankfully we have the girls names and birthdates, and we know approximately when we will be back in the US with them.

So all the appointments so far are for the second week of August - that will give us some flex time in our return dates, and give the girls time to settle in and get into a new routine. School here starts August 13, but I doubt we will be able to get the girls all registered before that date - too much paperwork is required by schools nowadays!

Plus we want Cinderella to go to a different school than we are zoned for - its still in our district and not far away, but it still requires some forms to be filed and people to sign off on the "transfer." The girls will be going to a full immersion English program, provided by the school district, for the first 6-9 weeks. This program teaches them not only the English language, but the culture and customs of the American classroom.

So far we have scheduled:
dentist appointments for both girls with a TLC dentist who specializes in fearful patients
general pediatric appointments with a Russian speaking EE adoption specialist
gynecology visit for Belle - she is 14 and we assume she has started her period, and we have no clue if she has been sexually active. better to get her checked out now for STDs, and get her on birth control (to regulate her periods)

I put in a request with the Marcus Institute's International Adoption clinic, more for developmental/educational testing, but they are booked through October. Since I know the doctor though, her nurses are going to try and stick us in a cancellation appointment in August, but we won't know that date until the day of most likely.

Max

So we are just about done unpacking at our new place. We have a few stray boxes with misc junk in them, some pictures to be hung up and some laundry to do and we should be just about settled.

The girls room is looking nice too. Since its a rental apartment, we can't paint the walls, but I think I've been doing nicely with fabric, rugs, bed linens and such to bring some color to the room. The "surfer girl" theme seems to be coming together - I have a quilt for one of the beds, and I'm working on the second; we have beach towels hung over the end of the beds, sand buckets for trash bins, tie-dyed curtains....we also finally got the second mattress for the bunk beds.

We wanted the girls to share a room since they are used to sleeping in one big room with 8 other kids (or more) and we thought it would not only help with their adjustment, but also to rebuild their sister-bond; they've been seperated for 5 years now and only seen each other once or twice since then.

Getting that mattress home was hilarious. We've had NO rain for weeks now. We have a 9 inch deficit in Georgia. There are wildfires in the south part of the state. We go to get a mattress and plan on carrying it home on the roof of our little car.....it monsoons. Thankfully the guy at the shop had double bagged the mattress and tied it down tight. We drove slow with the hazard lights on and got home fine, but we can only imagine what we must have looked like to the other drivers.

After the mattress fiasco, we were going to go do some work at MedShare. We were stopped at a redlight just blocks from MedShare (not exactly in a good part of town mind you) and Andrew looks over and sees this 6 week old kitten (tiny tiny) splayed out on the sidewalk, panting for dear life, drool and goo oozing from its little mouth. Its not really moving around, but appears awake and alert. Being the chivalrous knight he is, Andrew leaps from the car (thankfully the light had only just turned green, so no cars were moving yet) and runs to the kitten. I put on the hazard lights (boy they are getting a work out!) and pull off onto the curb (there was no where to pull in at, so I just jumped the curb onto the sidewalk a few meters down from the kitten). Andrew brings this poor pathetic looking kitten into the car, its spitting and hissing, but also nuzzling into Andrew's arm. We drive as fast as we can to our vet's office, calling ahead first, stopping only to get some water for the kitten. Andrew tries to get the kitten to drink some water that he poured from the bottle into an empty Altoids can (he rinsed it first), but the kitten just is too dehydrated to even drink.

We get to the vet office and they say we will have to wait for 1 1/2 hours to see a doctor since we are a walk in. The kitten is looking better, and the vet techs give us some fresh water and a feeding syringe and we get the little bugger to drink about 20 ccs of water. On the drive over we decided to name him "Max" (or Maximus as Andrew calls him) as in Mad Max Road Warrior - he was found on the side of the road and he was hissing and spitting.....seems fitting. We finally see the doctor and she takes his temp and check his hydration level, while I tell her the story and then point out that Max isn't really using his back legs. Big Red Flag! to the doctor. Max was probably THROWN out a car window onto the sidewalk and maybe broke his spine or his pelvis! Sometimes I really hate the human species. We obviousely can't afford to pay the medical bills of a stray kitty, so she offers to pay for his treatments out of a "foundation" they have at the clinic. She goes off to call and get the ok to do that, and then comes back and outlines what she is going to do - first feline leukemia test (no sense in treating him is he has this - they would just put him to sleep if he was positive), then xrays and then other regular treatments and tests.

Andrew and I were so sad to leave him there, but we knew that even if they had to euthanize Max, it would be a more humane death than dying of thirst or getting hit by a car. But, I called the vet today and Max is doing fine. Just a broken leg and some dehydration. His little leg is in a splint now and we are going to visit him this afternoon.

A little about us

I realized the other day how many friends I have made through our adoption journey, but that none of us really know much about each other beyond adoption-related news. So, I thought I’d write up a little bio about Andrew and me to pass the time.

Melissa: I was born in Detroit Michigan in 1978. My family moved to Orlando Florida when I was 4 because my dad got a job working for Disney- he still works there, 25 years later (he will be a hit with the girls – free Disney tickets! LOL). My parents are “bikers” – ie they have a really nice motorcycle that they ride on the weekends, they go to Bike Week in Daytona every year, and have been riding motorcycles since before I was born. My dad even drove us to school on the motorcycle as a “treat.” My parents listen to “rock” music – mostly Aerosmith, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Van Halen etc. and they listened to this VERY LOUDLY while I was growing up. Everyone in my family has tattoos. My sister is “winning” right now with the largest % of body coverage. Don’t go making assumptions based on stereotypes now – my parents were awesome, responsible parents. They were tough on us, very involved in our lives and school, very open about discussing sex, drugs, alcohol, and they knew every single one of our friends. As a kid my favorite things were unicorns, music, and art. I actually attended an art school for awhile and won many local art contests and had my artwork displayed at two major area art museums. When I got into middle and high school I was what people considered a “punk” or a “goth.” I dyed my hair a dozen different colors (mostly purples, but sometimes platinum white, sometimes blue), wore mostly black, wore black lipstick and nail polish and even got my belly button pierced at age 15 (Mom took me) and then my nose pierced when I was 18. I was on the math team, honor roll, in all AP classes, editor in chief of the yearbook, and I was in the Colorguard (flag team) in our marching band. I graduated high school in the top 10 of my class with a 4.7 GPA (AP classes). I finished my BS in Microbiology and Cell Science at UF in Gainesville in 3 years, and minored in Sociology and Chemistry. In 1999 I moved to Atlanta to go to grad school at Emory. In 2002 I got my Masters in Epidemiology (think disease epidemics, not dermatology/skin). I’ve been working at the CDC ever since and I am currently a government contractor for CDC in the Global AIDS Program.

Andrew: Born in Savannah Georgia in 1973 and raised mostly by his single mom. His mom was/is a “free spirit” or “hippie” so she moved around a lot and he grew up mostly in Florida where his mom worked for the Florida Bible College. When he was 13 his mom married his step-dad. His step dad adopted him soon after that. Andrew also got a step/adoptive brother and sister from this marriage. His sister is mentally retarded due to brain damage resulting from long-time epilepsy. His brother died in a boating accident when Andrew was 17. Andrew was also a “punk” in high school – he had a Mohawk haircut,
listened to Billy Idol, Dead Milkmen, Jane’s Addiction, and They Might Be Giants and wore leather jackets and combat boots. He went to college for a year, and then joined the Navy. He was briefly married at this time (less than one year), and after the birth of his first son Matt, his ex-wife disappeared. He was remarried shortly after that, and he and his second wife raised Matt and his second son, Sebastian for 10 years before they finally divorced. His sons are currently 15 and 14 yrs old. After 12 years in the Navy, he left his military life for a job in the private sector. While in the military he served as a Navy Corpsman, mostly in Navy Hospitals, as a Neurophysiologist. He was also advisor to the Surgeon General of the
Navy for Neurophys, was an instructor at the Navy Neurophys school and was captain of the Navy Honor Guard. He also played on the Navy rugby team and continues to play and coach rugby today. Andrew was also active in a local Roman history re-enactment group in the DC area – they dressed up in Roman armor and re-enacted Roman battles. He still has his Roman armor (he pounded out the steel himself and made the armor) on display in our home, next to his collection of medieval melee weapons (swords, maces, axes – think Lord of the Rings LOL) – he plans on using these weapons to “intimidate” any boys who come to try and date our girls haha. Andrew is currently the Director of Clinical Neurophysiology for Emory University Healthcare, working primarily with epilepsy patients like his sister.

Andrew and I met 5 years ago through a mutual friend, and were married 2.5 years ago in a small, last minute, unplanned wedding at his aunt and uncle’s home in Barnesville Georgia. We decided that our money would be better spent on other things than a big wedding. We still listen to the same music as we did in high school, and still dress casual “punk” outside of work. We consider ourselves to be religious/spiritual scholars – we don’t claim any single religion as our own, but we respect and study all religions. We plan on bringing the girls to a Unitarian Universalist church here in Atlanta so as to respect and honor whatever religious beliefs they already have. We also acknowledge the other “community” benefits of belonging to some sort of church and UUCA has many adopted kids from all over the world so the girls should feel comfortable there.

We enjoy camping and hiking, shopping at IKEA, and reading. Our favorite TV shows are LOST, Jericho, Law and Order, CSI and Star Trek. Favorite movies are Boonedock Saints, Moulin Rouge, and Star Wars. We do a lot of volunteer work, mostly helping Ukrainian orphanages, but also with a group called MedShare here in Atlanta that collects unused medical supplies from around the US, sorts and boxes them up and sends them FREE OF CHARGE to countries in need. We help them mostly with their Neurology stuff.