Sibling reunion and Marina turns 11

Been muddling along the past few months - losing Oksana hit me hard, but a few good crying and screaming sessions in the bathroom helped me get it all out. The girls are behaving better now, not too many tantrums or fits in awhile. Only "normal" kid behaviors that we are still not "ok" but are at least managable.

We finally got to meet the girls biological brother, who was adopted to the US in 2002. He and his adoptive father came down on a train to visit us for MLK weekend. It is amazing how much he looks like Marina. Katya loved taking care of her little brother, holding him on her lap, helping him with his jacket and gloves. Marina liked having a playmate around - they spend hours playing in the snow outside, building snowmen, throwing snowballs. We also took the kids to the new World of Coke and the Georgia Aquarium - it was pricey but worth it. The kids even handled their frustrations and occasional tiredness with self control - no melt downs, just a few pouty and grouchy moments.

While Kolya and Greg where here, we had Marina's 11th birthday party. My parents also drove up from Florida to be at the party. Thankfully everyone stayed at hotels! The party was red and pinked themed, and I was SOOOO stressed out planning and getting everything ready. It was my baby's first birthday in America and I was terrified it would not be a happy event for her. Thankfully 6 of her friends showed up, and they all had a great time sledding in the snow, playing barbie, watching High School Musical 2 on the big screen projector and playing with Marina's hamster. Food and cake went over well, and everything was eaten so no leftovers to clean up. Some of the girls parents even stayed for the party, so it was nice getting to know them too. Half of the kids spoke Russian, so that was also nice for Marina. I really liked her friends, really sweet kids.

Farewell to SnowWhite

So, Snow White, aka Oksana, is out of our reach and unless God himself intervenes and a miracle occurs soon, she will never be part of our family.

The foster family in Nizhyn intends on adopting her. The family is wealthy, powerful, and will be able to care for Oksana as she deserves. Supposedly, this is some new program open to Ukrainian families - foster-adopt fast-tracking. They pick a kid out at the orphanage, and even if the kid has no legal release or registration papers, they can take the child and adopt them. Even unregistered kids. The legal guise is that the child can live with the future adoptive family as a "foster child" while the legal paperwork is sorted out. while this is a great thing that now a lack of legal paperwork will not prevent a child from having a chance at adoption, I still think the program is a little shady and open for corruption and bribery.

I still don't understand why this powerful, rich family would want an older child like Oksana. She is 8 1/2 years old. She has major personality - totally high maintenance and stubborn as a mule. Millions of possible reasons swam through my head in the last few weeks since we found out. Some good, some not so good, some criminal....

We hired a family-finder to try and meet the foster family - discuss our wishes to adopt Oksana ourselves, exchange photos, maybe become friends with them. The foster father wanted none of it, and refused to let the district social worker office release his address to our representative. Thankfully I also had a contact who spoke with the regional social worker in charge of visiting this family checking in on Oksana, and this social worker is supportive of us being in contact with Oksana, and agreed to deliver a letter and photos to the family and Oksana on our behalf.

So Oksana beat the odds. She was an unregistered, older child, and she was chosen by a Ukrainian family for adoption. This happens in less than 1% of the time for children in her situation. Most Ukrainian families want to adopt babies, or to foster older kids in a group home.

Everyone in our home is crushed, but we are trying to be happy for Oksana. As I wrote, not many older Ukrainian orphans will ever be adopted at all.