INS Approval!

So, we got our INS approval - YAYYY!!! This means our American-side of the prep/approval process is complete. All we have now is to finish up our dossier, have it sent to the Ukrainian government, have it translated into Ukrainian, have the translated version sent to the UA govt, and then wait.....Right now the UA government is switching control of the adoption center from one ministry to another. Rumors say that this new center and staff will be a BIG improvement - hopefully less corrupt, more accomodating, and the new minister has pledged to double the number of adoptions processed. Our big concern is the money. We need to pay for: our plane tickets there and back, our hotel while there for 3-4 weeks, food/spending money, 3K for the translator's services, $1800-2K for the required lawyer in K-grad, orphanage donation of approx $500 which is pretty much required, US Embassy visa fee of $400 per child....plus, we will not be working those 3-4 weeks, thus no paychecks except for what vacation and sick leave we can use up. Both of us are also looking into working out some sort of teleworking agreement with our work so we can get paid for some of our time while we are there. We won't be "busy" everyday - alot of the time spent there is waiting....waiting for signatures, waiting for paperwork, waiting for a court date etc. AND while we are out of the country, our bills still need to be paid. We are going to try and work out something with our apartment complex so we don't have to pay rent the month we are gone. One of the things we were counting on as far as money fell through - our tax return. Normally we have gotten $1500 back - but due to a series of circumstances, this year we OWE $150. So, now I am considering taking on a second job ugh. I've learned in my life that you can't count on other people to help you out - you can only depend on yourself. We have a few people - family and friends - who have said they will help and loan us money. We CAN save alot of it ourselves, but it would take time and time is not something you always have control over in an international adoption - they invite you when they have an opening! not when you have enough money necessarily LOL. Plus, every month our little girl sits in that orphanage is a month she could have been in a loving home with us.

Passport in hand, INS application complete

So, alot has happened since my last post. Andrew's passport arrived in the mail the weekend we were moving from one apartment in our complex to another. We celebrated by treating ourselves to a steak dinner at Longhorn. We sent in our INS I-600A application. Dani sent along our completed homestudy, and we went for our fingerprints this past Friday. The fingerprinting center is seperate from the INS office I went to previousely. This was a little DMV-like office - sets of chairs in groups, but what the different groups are for you have no clue because there are no signs. The officer who checks you paperwork just tells you where to stand - you still have no clue how he's deciding where people go. Our appointment was for 9am, but we got there at 8 and got printed at 830am. They have one little form for you to fill out, then you check in with the fingerprinting clerk, and one of the fingerprinting people comes and gets you. They do the prints, a supervisor(?) comes and verifies their work and asks you some questions, and off you go. I'm going to call Officer Sandino sometime this week to "make sure" she got everything....hehe. Hopefully she will expedite our application since Marina is considered "sick." Once we get our approval letter, we can get our dossier finished up. I can't get ahold of Dani to find out where she is in that process. We sent her the remaining documents, but I never got confirmation from her that she got them ok. She then needs to get all the documents notarized and apostilled. After that....we have no clue who is going to be our translator/facilitator in country, so we don't know who will translate our dossier into Ukrainian. We can't get registered as adoptive parents until the dossier is translated and submitted to the NAC in Kyiv. We are probably going to submit it to the NAC afer the changeover in their leadership on May 1. So, our two big problems right now - money and facilitation team - but these are tied together....the amount of money we are going to need is directly related to who we chose to use for translation...the prices vary SO much. I just can't decide....you can't decide based purely on price - what if that person has no connections with NAC and can't get your documents submitted? You are out of luck at that point. I think it boils down to trust - if you trust someone, you probably trust them not to rip you off, and you trust them to make sure you get your kid.

Ukraine trip part 2 - Day in Kyiv and Trip to meet M

The next morning, Saturday, I was met at my apartment by BF Staff member, Sasha. He offered to show me around Kyiv for the day and take me shopping. We first went to MegaMarket - a Western-style shopping center.....kinda. It was in a two story brick factory looking building - the sign at the road was very obvious, but the enterance to the building was not....down an alley and around a corner to a small unmarked set of sliding glass doors. There was grocery store downstairs and a department type store upstairs. There was an "L" shaped area around each of these main shops that had flea-market type booths, each rented by different types of vendors; one sold nice men's dress clothing, another sold automatic weapons (eek!). This store had everything - BUT selection within a type of item was small - they had hair-dryers, but only 2 to choose from, not 10 like we are used to in the states. Since my luggage had still not turned up, I needed to replace my gifts for Marina. I think I spend about $75 USD (they took my visa debit card too!) and I got her: a insulated down coat with rabbit fur trim, a long sleeved shirt, pink heart slippers, a pink poodle stuffed toy, a Barbie doll, a Barbie coloring book, a think Disney anthology of Princess stories, and thick stockings. While we were there Sasha and I took down prices of various items, requested by the US sponsors, to update the BFC online shop. He also took me to a neat little book shop, right across the street from my apartment - I got 3 of the Harry Potter books in Ukrainian! All three cost less than $20 total. Since he doesn't have a car, we took public transport - the shuttle buses were neat and the metro was beautiful! Each cost less than a quarter to use. He took me to Independance Square and we walked around there a bit, the underground Western-style mall, and then we walked to some of the nearby cathedrals. They are so gorgeous! Light blue walls with big golden domes! We found some street vendors around one of the cathedrals and I did my souvenier shopping. "TAK!" scarves, matryoshka dolls, little hand-sewn dolls in traditional Ukrainian dress...Exhausted from all the walking, Sasha dropped me off at my apartment and I went right to sleep. The next morning I had blisters LOL :)Sunday: Dima picks me up bright and early - its still dark outside. I go to get in the jeep and there is an unexpected person with Dima! Vladimir doesn't speak a word of English and he is what most people would think of when they think of a Russian man...olive skin, black hair, very Russian looking mustache and beard, thick build etc. Dima says that Vladimir is coming along to "make sure the doors of the orphanage are open..." uhhh....okayyyyy. So he's our thug for the day? LOL Nice enough guy though - or at least he seems that way...I don't speak Russian and he doesn't speak English, but he seemed like a pleasant guy. Very diplomatic while he was negotiating our way into the orphanage and when asking for directions etc. So, after a long drive, we make it to the city of Kirovograd. Still, we have no real idea of where the specific orphanage is and this is a good sized city...we only know the name of the orphanage and the director's name. After driving around in circles for a bit, we arrive. There are little kids playing in the snow inside the safety of the orphanage fence. Dima speaks a bunch of Ukrainian, confirms this is Barvinok and Mila is the director and we are ushered inside. We go up to a classroom and they begin bringing little girls named M out to me - I guess its a common name and the teachers don't always know their last names. I'd say "no, that is not her, she is 8 years old, here is picture of her..."etc. Finally one of the teachers knew who I was talking about and send some of the kids to fetch the correct M. I'm coming down the stairs and this little girl comes running up, bundled to the ears in snow clothing....They ask "is this her?" - its hard to tell with the hat and scarf and all....so they motion for her to pull off her hat. And there she is...my angel! I think they tell her I'm here to visit her, and she smiles, takes my hand and starts to lead me to her classroom so she can take off her jacket and such. I guess I walked too slow since she and her little friends take off at a run down the hall, chattering the whole way. I catch up and she is stading in a little locker room taking off all her snow clothes. She goes into the main classroom and starts playing with a broken music box with two of her friends. She seems shy at first. Dima explains that I have gifts for her and I start pulling out the things I bought at MegaMarket. She seems so happy, but still shy. She nuzzles in the rabbit fur of her new coat, letting it tickle her nose. Soon, a crowd forms around M. Everyone is passing around her gifts and looking at them. Thankfully the locket we had bought and had our pictures put in had been safe in my carry on bag, so I gave that to her - I put it around her neck and clasped it, and then opened it for her to see the photos. I told her "Mamma and Pappa". She brightened up at this and kept showing her friends her necklace. I doubt many of the kids there have golden lockets from their parents. I just hope it doesnt get stolen. I gave her a photo album with pictures of her room, our home, our family...and a postcard book of Atlanta. All the kids seemed to like these things the most. I just sat back and watched her with her little friends. Then it was lunch time and time for us to go. M said thank you (spaseeba) and was being all shy as we went to leave. Just as we got out of her classroom into the hall, she comes running out and hugs my legs! I squat down and hug her back and kiss her cheek. She keeps saying somethingin Ukrainian over and over....I have no clue what it was, but I think she was happy. I found out her birthday had been a week before (January 21, and now she's 9), and this was probably the best birthday she had had in a long time - they don't get gifts or parties at an orphanage. We left Barvinok, and headed out of the city. We stopped for lunch and to visit with Dima's grandfather's friend, then back to Kyiv. The airport called on the drive back and said they had one of my bags. We stopped by the airport and picked it up (after much arguing with the customs clerk).Next morning Dima picked me up and dropped me at the airport. My trip home was uneventful - thank God!

My trip to Ukraine

So, things are finally settling down after my trip to Ukraine and I've had time to digest everything that happened....I am also now coming down with strep throat - a gift from the little orphans LOLMy adventure started on Wednesday January 25th when I arrived at the Atlanta airport in the evening. Bags were checked and I made it through security with no problems. Got some Starbucks and waited to board. The flight to Paris was long, but they had nice movies to watch and the flight was empty enough I could stretch out and sleep a bit. Arrive Paris - Thursday morning. By the time we landed and they bused us to the terminal, the flight to Kyiv had already closed! To top it off, there are no signs tellilng you where to go in Paris and there were no more flights to Kyiv that day. I was in hysterics on the floor. The French are very rude and have absolutely no concept of customer service. Thanks to two orthodox jews who were also trying to get to Kyiv, I got onto a flight to Prague, which would then connect to Kyiv that same evening. I had Andrew call Dima and let him know the change in arrival time. I get to Kyiv and they have lost both my checked bags with my gifts for the kids in them. Dima is waiting for me and takes me on a short driving tour of Kyiv and then we pick up the key to my apartment. I settle in and go to sleep, finally at my destination. Yura arrives at 7:30 am the next morning to pick me up and take me to the Big Family Chairty offices so we can get on the road to Pryluky. At the office I meet Sasha (cutie!) and we drink good strong coffee while waiting for Dima and Olesya to arrive. Once everyone was there, we all loaded into two cars, packed with parcels, and drove the two hours to Pryluky. We stopped at one of the only gasoline stations in Ukraine that has a mini-market. I get a Vanilla Coke, an Energy drink to bring back to the states for my husband (he lives on Monster energy drink), and three Ukrainian rock CDs (for my mom). I start filming the village of Pryluky, and the approach to the orphanage - I probably filmed the car seats as I was learning the buttons LOL. The playground was buried in snow and the enterance to the orphanage was unassuming - like many things in post-soviet Ukraine. The caretakers and director are there to greet us, and the boys begin bringing the parcels in to the lobby in front of the director's office. The caretakers then gather the parcels for the children in their classes and return to their classrooms. Olesya then gets permission to bring me to meet my angel, O . We go upstairs as her class has been merged with another groupa due to the lack of heat in her normal classroom. Standing at the classroom door, they call her out - up walks this TINY little girl with long black hair, pulled back in a pony tail, in a fluffy red sweater! Then she asks the most heart breaking question possible -"Are you going to be my Mamma and take me with you?" - I was almost in tears! I had Olesya tell her, "no, I wish I was your Mamma and could take you with me, but I'm not allowed to right now." On top of my luggage being lost, Big Family had mistakingly given O's December parcel to the kids at Borzna! So I had no gifts for O, except what I could scroung out of my backpack. Thankfully, I had made sure to put her necklace in there for safe-keeping! I also had a game-boy that I gave her. Olesya explained to O that the necklace symbolized my relationship with her - two hearts connected forever! O liked her gifts, and we went out with her caretaker to locate a jacket that we thought may have been from the misplaced parcel. O is a very stubborn and spirited child! Just like me...LOL. The jacket was not the one I had sent, but during the search I learned alot about O - no one is trying to adopt her, according to the caretaker. She also doesn't remember any parents and has no idea how long she has been at the Detsky dom - for as long as she could remember she said. I also gave my disposable camera to O and she loved taking pictures with it - I took the camera when she was done, and told her I would get it developed and send her copies of the pictures. I gave her tons of hugs and kisses and Olesya took tons of pictures of the two of us together. The kids then ate lunch and laid down for a nap. We all waited in the directors office, discussing the kids, and cataloguing the "all children" gifts. I then tried to video as many of the groupas as possible as they were waking up from their naps - but the camera died! I still visited many of the groupas and talked to the kids - to get impressions and stories to bring back to their sponsors. We all then said good bye, and went to the village for lunch.Olesya helped me order, and I got borscht and fried potatoes (hashbrowns). Dima also ordered Vodka. Sahsa played bartender, and Dima taught me the "proper" way to drink vodka - straight, chased by warm borscht! My eyes were watering and I almost coughed. I was tipsy the whole was back to Kyiv. Back at my apartment I watched Ukrainian news and music TV, took a bath in hot brownish/yellow water, and then went to bed. Continued in part 2.

Good News!

Andrew spoke to the CSE office in Escambia county Florida and I guess having the woman in Tallahassee put pressure on them worked!! They agreed to release his passport! They are still arguing the arrearage amount, but at least they, grudgingly, agree that it is unfair to hold his passport while the amount is disputed and unverified. Also, my friend Mary finally got her registration letter! So much has been going on with the status of adoptions in Ukraine and Mary has already been through so much grief, I was worried for her. My friend Chad is still waiting for an appointment, last I heard. All of us are trying to adopt "hard-to-place" kids, so hopefully our adoptions will go smoothly. All the rumor and news around the new ministry is positive, so hopefully we can complete our adoption by September. Sooner if we can get a grant :)

INS Office and Upcoming trip

Four updates to make. Drew's passport - We found out for certain that both Florida and Georgia CSE had his passport on the denial list. Our Georgia case-worker is a sweet lady and sent the email to the state level to have the denial removed while I was on the phone. So, one state down, one to go. Drew talked to our contact in Tallahassee and she said that she CAN remove it, but she wants to give Escambia county the chance to "makes things right" first. Escambia FINALLY returned our many phone calls and letters (after Tallahassee reprimanded them LOL) and they would not talk to me, only to Drew and he was busy taking care of patients at work. So, we have to get an official power of attorney faxed to them ( I thought marriage gave you automatic power of attorney in alot of cases, but I guess not). They probably still won't be helpful, so we will likely have to have Tallahassee remove the denial, but I'm glad to know that she can if it comes down to it. So, one cirsis in the process if being diverted. INS office - I went in to the regional INS office here in Atlanta to ask a question about our form. I HAD called the 800 number, but they said that fee-waivers were decided at the local level and I would need to schedule an appointment to ask my local officers. I was told I had to do this through their online system - InfoPass. Infopass was BROKEN for over a week. Finally got an appointment and went down there at 8:30 in the morning. I had a heck of a time finding parking as the office is in downtown Atlanta, and then no one knew which building the INS was in and it was NOT marked. Finally get into the right building and the security dudes were overly-thorough - I mean, I've worked at CDC for over 5 years and been to a dozen airports since 9-11 and I've never had any security checkpoint be this obnoxious. I get through security and go to the "check-in" counter. They confirm my appointment give me some papers and tell me to go to such-and-such room down the hall. I enter what looks like a DMV waiting lobby. They have 10 windows/counters to help people - only 6 people are in these windows, and only one person is actually helping people!!!! My "number" is A-39. I walk in and they are on A-17. After 90 minutes they are only on A-24!!! Why did I make an appointment if I was going to be sitting here for three hours waiting for someone to speak to me? So, I pick up my things and go out to the check-in counter to ask about the hold-up...needless to say, my righteous indignation got a hold of me and I kinda bitched them out....they got the supervisor who made all sorts of excuses as to why only one person was doing any work....they then called the orphan supervisor to come talk to me....she was about 25 and decided to talk down to me - something I do not tolerate - but I bit my tongue as this was the girl who would be reviewing our application. So, I got no real answer to my question and was getting ready to leave and head to work...but parking was uber-expensive and I need to take out more cash. The desk clerk said there was an ATM right in the next room. I went to use it and it wouldn't dispense the money to me....I went to the desk and told them the ATM wasn't working. They tell me I have to wait in the line in that room to have that specific desk clerk "unlock" the ATM so it will dispense money....What the F*!@#?My upcoming trip to Ukraine!! - I got my paper ticket in the mail the other day for my trip to Kiev. I have had a lot of luck using the AAA travel agents so I used them again this time. I'm flying over night to Paris and then will arrive in Kiev in the early afternoon on a Thursday. My friend Lucy is picking me up at the airport, and Olesya is arranging an apartment. Hopefully I will be able to help the Big Family staff do the final shopping for the Pryluky trip and then go out to dinner with all of them. Friday is the Pryluky trip where I will finally get to meet my little angel, O. I've been sponsoring her for 6 months now, since Vira aged out of Pryluky and was moved to an internat not sponsored by Big Family. We had hoped to adopt either one of these girls, but we have no info on Vira, and there is conflicting info on O - supposedly a Spanish couple paid a large bribe to have O "held" for them. There is also an unethical/illegal hosting group that has promised O to an American couple. So, hopefully O will find a family, but we thought it best to move as far away from that mess as possible. We found M through a friend who had received a referral to her but could not accept it due to the girl's medical conditions (she didn't have good medical insurance). Saturday, Lucy and I are going to visit M in Kirovograd. I am SOOOO excited to meet my future-daughter!! I have tons of clothes and gifts for her and her classmates, and some friends who have adopted from M's orphanage have given me money and pictures to give to the director. I will probably go to the local market and buy meat and fruit for the kiddos - hopefully this will make a good impression on the director and she will favor our adopting of M. Finances - pretty bleak. We've been denied for every single adoption loan and don't qualify for any of the grants - our credit is too bad, but we also make too much money *sigh* can't win. We are considering filing bankruptcy to fix the credit - our credit is bad because we both lost our jobs a few years ago and then we had an extended under-employement/unemployement followed by a costly custody battle over Drew's oldest son. Now that we both have good, stable jobs and the custody battle is over, we are finding it impossible to dig ourselves out of this hole. All the new credit we have is positive and we are able to make all our payments, its just the older stuff we can't catch up on due to all the penalties. Credit counseling services don't really work but to reduce your interest rates, and they don't allow you to take on any new credit while you are in their "program." So bankruptcy seems the best - it will allow us to recover from this past debt rather quickly and will allow us to rebuilt the credit so that we can buy a home in the next two years.